Gruntilda is infamous for her hilarious yet very bizarre rhyming quotes. This page is a collection of all of Grunty's rhyming quotes throughout the Banjo-Kazooie series.
- Tiny creatures far below, which of you'll be first to go?
- As cute as me, you stupid pot? For her own sake, I hope she's not!
- I need those looks far more than she, and finally perfect I shall be!
- Dingpot, Dingpot, by the bench, who is the nicest looking wench?
- Yes you're right, I'm rather proud, my looks stand me out from the crowd!
- What do you mean, this cannot be, there's no one prettier than me!
- No, no, no, you must be mad, nicer beauty can't be had!
- If Tooty thinks she's fairer than me, I'll steal her looks and ugly she'll be!
- Come to me, my little pretty, you'll soon be ugly, what a pity!
- Don't scratch and bite, my little bear, you'll soon need bigger underwear!
- This fine contraption, so I'm told, will make me young and Tooty old!
- Rescue you he will not dare, there's many dangers in my lair!
- Hurry, Klungo, push that switch, I'm tired of being an ugly witch!
At Random (usually when walking around)
- Many tricks are up my sleeve, to save yourself you'd better leave!
- Grunty's plan is rather cunning, when I'm thin, guys will be running!
- Long of tooth and strong of arm, Grunty's got the lasting charm!
- I don't like stairs much in my lair, they always make me gasp for air!
- Can't you get here any faster? Come and fight me, I'm the master!
- If you think I'm rather soft, I'll be waiting in the loft!
- Why do I talk all the time, it's really hard to make these rhyme!
- I'm still here, I watch you play, but I can't think of much to say!
- It really does sound quite absurd, adventure of a bear and bird!
- How bright they are, your stupid shorts, a target for my dumb cohorts!
- That ugly bear, you feathered freak, is nothing but a stupid geek!
- Join me now and dump the bear, that little backpack then I'll wear!
- Your side with Banjo but change tack, imagine you on Grunty's back!
- Your feathered buddy, that you've brung, useless like a pile of dung!
- I can see it's quite hard work, to lump around that squawking jerk!
- My next world is the hardest yet, and you will fail, on that I'll bet!
- Tooty's fate is looking grim, it's because her brother's dim!
- I've got this skirt so when I'm thinner, it really makes me look a winner!
- When Tooty is a big ole lump, I've got just the frock to hide her rump!
- Your butt will tell you and you'll know, when my boot swings to and fro!
- When the back of Grunty's hand, whups your butt you'll hardly stand!
- Hey Banjo, you're looking glum, it must be hard, being so dumb!
- Grunty's stomach and leg thins, goodbye to all those double chins!
- Once I'm nice and thin once more, burgers, fries, and chips galore!
- Tooty says she's fine with me, if you go home I'll set her free!
- Grunty admits she's a hog, I really need a big hot dog!
- Monsters chase you, they're a hounding, then you'll get a Grunty pounding!
- My belly's big, it's rather neat, it's years since I have seen my feet!
- I've learned this spell, it's really neat, I'll keep it later for your treat!
- There he is, the fun begins, my tricks and traps will see who wins!
- That was such an easy fit, the others may just test your wit!
- You've found some notes but you need more, to break my spell and pass this door!
- That door was easy you got past, unfortunately your first and last!
- When you open a world door, baddies escape and roam once more!
- Hey, book brain, what did you say? You'd better not give my spells away!
- If one more page I see you turn, then Grunty shall make Cheato burn!
- That traitor book has pushed its luck, so in the burning fire I'll chuck!
- What's wrong Banjo, is it tough? Let me know when you've had enough!
- It's not over stupid bear, see my picture over there!
- To fill it up is no mean feat, lots of Jiggies make it complete!
- Pieces that you've left behind, to battle me you must go find!
- I'm sad to say down there you'll stop, 'cuz I'm safe here at the top!
- Don't be sure you silly pot, soon I'll have you nice and hot!
- See these filthy clothes I've got, when I've won you'll wash the lot!
- Grunty's fate this should not be, so hurry, Klungo, rescue me!
- Stop using cheats in my tower, you are getting all the power.
- Now I will erase your Game Pak, because you had the need to hack!
- The free trial's over so here's where you're staying, or buy the full game to carry on playing. (She says this after you obtain 3 jiggies only in the XBLA demo version of Banjo-Kazooie)
- First you see it, now you don't, the fast one wins, the slow one won't!
- I'll be young and Tooty old, before you get Gruntilda's gold!
- Oh, those lovely thorns, how they've grown, music to my ears as you moan!
- I can't believe you went in there, wash your hands now, filthy bear!
- These two guests are rather dumb, let's make sure they're unwelcome!
- Yes I'm mad, my boot I'll put, up your useless spooky butt!
- Big oak door is very tough, stupid bear's not fast enough!
- My oily water, in you plunge, you'll lose air while in that gunge!
- Under the scum you'll breathe your last, 'cuz air is used twice as fast!
- Stupid bear, you'll have to learn, that red hot ovens tend to burn!
- A simple task you were sure, but Grunty's engines start once more!
- My bramble field makes you yelp, and loss of life it sure does help!
- You'll use your air up double fold, I've made this water double cold!
- Yes that's right, swim under there, icy water takes double air!
- Welcome all, Grunty's the name, Banjo's here to play my game!
- My lair is done and there he stands, through all my tricks and traps and lands!
- This final test will see me win, when Banjo fails then I'll be thin!
- The prizes on this stand bring joy, from Tooty down to cuddly toy!
- My little quiz will make you sweat, and Tooty you shall never get!
- 'Cuz somewhere soon along the way, your lack of skill will make my day!
- 'Cuz in the fiery pit you'll go, and I will win the prize on show!
- So step on over to the square, press to try it if you dare!
- So I see you're back to try, one more time but you will fry!
- A little answer's all I seek, about this game you furry geek!
- A visual challenge you stupid bear, to tell me who is it or where!
- A question on the sounds I play, get it wrong to make my day!
- Just one chance to get this right, win a joker and help it might!
- Each joker card that you have got, will skip your question, that's your lot!
- Press to use it you little cheat, when on a square you get cold feet!
- Your joker misses out on a square, accept the test you did not dare!
- Prepare yourself to take a whack, pick this test, you won't come back!
- I think it's time, so let me see, how much you know of little old me!
- Get this wrong for Grunty's sake, then a lava bath you will take!
- Try this one, but don't be lame, you'll lose a life and lose the game!
- The name of your game you must spell, backwards though, be quick as well!
- Mighty Big Box you must now fight, but be quick as the time is tight!
- This is tough, your chances are slim, of you eating more than him!
- Little stings that make a bear shout, whack them all before time's out!
- The tiles await for you to match, time is tight but that's the catch!
- Watch as the turtles sing their song, repeat it quick, you won't get long!
- A lucky guess, you got it right, the next square's yours without a fight!
- Hear the crowd, they boo and hiss, to see you fail they would not miss!
- That's a secret, how did you know? Did my sister tell you so?
Failing a square
- Fail a square and you'll feel pain, please press to try again!
- Get more wrong, yes that's the way, the crowds are happier today!
- An easy challenge you have assumed, one more wrong and you are doomed!
- No lives are left, he burns and chokes, I'm pleased to say that's all folks!
Collecting an item on the board
- An extra life, I do not care, It will not help you scruffy bear!
- The energy that you have found, won't stop me making Tooty round!
- No one can win, I was assured, by the makers of this board!
- It's not fair, I want to win, how I longed to be real thin!
- Now you can take the prize on show, while up the winding stairs I go!
- You won't catch me, I've made sure, all the credits you'll now endure!
Banjo and Kazooie entering
- I can't believe that furry pair, got right up here it's so unfair!
- But now the stupid bear must fight, this battle tests your skill and might!
- Back once more, you'll never learn, that suits me fine, your butts I'll burn!
- Who's back up here, oh my word, it's beaky fool and hairy nerd!
- I can't believe you're up here again, stupid bear and dumb bird brain!
- I'm not one to brag or boast, but after this you'll both be toast!
- So you're back, you must be thick, you'll lose again, I'll make it quick.
Gruntilda gets hurt
- Ouch my butt, it's now quite sore, I'll make you suffer, that's for sure!
- What was that, you got me now, you've really angered this old cow!
- A glancing blow, nothing more, now I'll knock you through the floor!
- Now you've got me in a fluster, faster spells I'll have to muster!
Banjo and Kazooie get hurt
- Did you hear that lovely clack, my broomstick gave you such a whack!
- AAAH! I see it makes you sad, to know your skills are really bad!
- I hit that bird right on the beak, let it be the end of her cheek!
- My fiery blast you just tasted, Grunty's spells on you are wasted!
- See the swoop and how I flew, my broomstick made a meal of you!
- Hopeless bear runs to and fro, but takes a whack for being so slow!
- Mmm. I see you took that one, a few more and your life is gone!
- It's too easy, so I fear, now watch me step things up a gear!
- Don't hit me, that's quite enough, I think you'll find the next bit tough!
- That last hit did clip my ear, but you can't get me over here!
- Ah, it's time for me to change, my spot to put me out of range!
Gruntilda gets hurt
- That didn't hurt, I feel no pain, Grunty's back to fight again!
- AARGH! I'm slow with all of this lard. That egg of yours caught me off guard!
- I can't dodge with all this weight, those nasty eggs I sure do hate!
- Ouch! My gut you nearly hit, if your shot was down a bit!
- This spot is proving rough, I'll have to move to make it more tough!
- That's not fair, I wasn't ready! Now I feel faint and all unsteady...
- Ahh, it's time for me to change, my spot just to put me out of range!
- Ooof! I took another whack, but watch me give you double back!
Banjo and Kazooie get hurt
- So I got you there once more, I knew your skill was very poor!
- Simply put I'm rather proud, your yelps and screams I heard quite loud!
- Hah! You took another zap, I got you through that little gap!
- Grunty's fireball you did kiss, you're so slow I can hardly miss!
- Your so sad and little lame - Ive moved on keep playing this game
- Hear the fireball fizz and bang, your hairy butt took quite a clang!
- Off I fly 'cuz then we'll see, if you can get the best of me!
- Did you know I learned to fly? At witch's school, I'm sure you know why.
- A big old gal I may be, but when I fly you can't get me!
- Old Bottle Brain has taught you well, but bears can't fly and I can tell!
- Now I'm off into the air, leaving Banjo way down there.
- See my broomstick, watch me fly, I'll beat your butt, don't even try!
- Up in the air I'll be safe, at my leisure your butt I'll strafe!
Gruntilda gets hurt
- Another hit, I'm getting weak, I really need to take a leak!
- ARRGH! You got me once again, prepare to take this sizzle brain!
- Oooh! You sniveling little pup, have this bolt, I'm speeding up!
- YOW! That beak sure gave me a jolt, so you can have this here lightning bolt!
- Ouch! Now that one really stung, take this nasty spell I've brung!
Banjo and Kazooie get hurt
- This broom is hard and as it streaks, across the sky it chafes my cheeks!
- Fireball fizz and fireball fly, blast that bear out of my sky!
- Another hit, that's how it goes, watch me fly and pick my nose!
- Soon you'll lose and when you've gone, I have to go and use the john!
- Grunty's spell your body numbs, an easy task to hit those bums!
- I may be old and rather wide, but underneath this shield I'll hide!
- That pointy beak did not miss, but let's see it get through this!
- Look at me I'm quite a mess, here's a shield to hide my dress!
- A special shield I need to call, to stop your hits once and for all!
- So Grunty doesn't come to grief, here's a spell I can hide beneath!
Jinjo statues appear
- Come on then you little punks, Grunty's spells will make you chunks!
- I hid those Jinjos really well, but must have used a lousy spell!
- I hid you well for being bad, don't help the bear, you'll make me mad!
- So your little furry friends, come here to share your very end!
Gruntilda gets hurt
- How that Jinjo stung and burned, he got me when my back was turned!
- That's unfair, I wasn't ready, Jinjos make me so unsteady!
- Hey, that Jinjo really hurt, now I'll rub you in the dirt!
- That wasn't fair, I wasn't ready, I feel all faint and unsteady!
- I hold on hard and grit my teeth, to stop it dangling underneath!
- Useless Jinjos sneer and hoot, go back right now or taste my boot!
- Ooh! Those nasty pointy beaks, are causing swelling in my cheeks!
- Don't hit me you flying pig, my anger is now growing big!
Banjo and Kazooie get hurt
- Your stupid friends aren't much help, they stand there while I make you yelp!
- Your silly friends upon their blocks, they're going to take a couple of knocks!
- Your Jinjos really are a joke, now watch your lives go up in smoke!
- Another hit, I don't believe, you didn't dodge, why don't you weave!
- Get used to that, there's plenty more of other nasty spells in store!
- Useless broomsticks I can't stand, it's left me stranded back on land!
- That last shot I failed to stop, so down onto the ground I drop!
- My broomstick failed with that last blow, now on my legs I have to go!
- Ooof! You've winded me all around, to catch my breath I'm on the ground!
- I've bet you thought you had me beat, but look! I've landed on my feet!
- What's all this, how dare you cheat, but I don't care, I can't be beat!
- That's no good you stupid jerk, the Jinjo statue will not work!
- I really think you ought to run, when I beat him and spoil your fun!
- That rocky moron can't hurt me, 'cuz Grunty will the winner be!
Banjo and Kazooie get hurt
- Hear the fizzle and feel the pain, you're going to lose a life again!
- Spells rain down upon your head, you stand no chance when I see red!
- The bear is dumb, the bird's a twit, 'cuz I just got another hit!
- I'm just warming up right now, such fine shots from this old cow!
- Grunty's aim is rather good, if you could run, I know you would!
- I could take these shots all day, there's no way I'm going to sway!
- See your Jinjo fail to work, he's nothing but a feeble jerk!
- Your crafty plan stands no chance, I'm firmly rooted in this stance!
- There's no way he'll shift my bulk, I watch you cry and have a sulk!
- Even with your extra friend, I know you'll meet a nasty end!
- Grunty's strength will see me through, when Jinjo's gone, I'll batter you!
- That last Jinjo has finished me, but who laughs last we shall soon see!
- I'm done for now, hear me choke, but look what's hidden in my cloak!
- Poor old Grunty, set to fall, upon this spell I'll now call!
- AARGH! I'm beaten fair and square, before I go I've got this to share!
- It's all over I can tell, but Grunty's got just one more spell!
- Here's my Magnet Spell at last, run and hide you won't get past!
- Magic spell, seek out your prey, it's sure to hit, O' happy day!
- See this spell, I think you'll find, its target will be your behind!
- Here is a spell of Banjo homing, get him now to stop his roaming!
- It's now time to end your fun, here comes a spell you can't outrun!
- Banjo's game ends in my tower, turn it up, I need full power!
- Look at Grunty she's a beauty, I'm much prettier than Tooty!
- No, no, no, this cannot be! What happened to little old me?
- I hate bones, a body I need, can you help with this little deed?
- Right then, girls, let's fix me up, then Banjo's hairy butt I'll whup!
- Leave it to me, he's no hassle! I'll kick butt, then off to the castle!
- Revenge is mine, I cannot miss, let's see that furry fool dodge this!
- Hold on, sis, I'm nearly there, I've just been to blast that bear!
- No, no, Klungo, you stay here, I'll be back, have no fear!
When B.O.B. scene starts
- Come on, sisters, time I lack! What's the plan to get my body back?
- With the Mecha-Grunty Klungo's made, Banjo's favor will be repaid.
- I'll steal Kazooie and in a blast, I'll use my suit to change the past.
- Without his bird, Banjo's lost, I won't give up at any cost!
- Now I have your feathered friend, on my sisters I won't depend.
- With this duo split in two, there's nothing that I cannot do!
- Hold tight, Kazooie, we'll move quite fast, to travel back into the past.
- Captive breegulls are the best, they work all day without a rest.
- Now that I have trapped Kazooie, Banjo I can make chop-suey.
- Look, Banjo's here without Kazooie's beak! No doubt your efforts will be weak.
- You won't hurt me much without a bill, so I hope you've written out your will!
- My defeat was a surprise, I think the sun was in my eyes!
- I'd better get this suit upgraded, the bear alone I underrated.
- Kazooie seems a little bitter, she should be my heavy hitter.
- Since she's stayed by Banjo's arm, I'm going to have to do her harm!
- This jumbo-mecha really stinks, a few small holes and it just sinks.
- But when I meet you in my tower, I won't hold back, I'll use full power!
- Thank you Klungo, that's fantastic, to stop the bear my plans are drastic.
- If this won't work, you know what to do, 'cos I'll be counting on plan two!
After beating Grunty at the first battle
- Don't think you've beaten me so quick, I've got a plan, I'm not so thick!
Before starting a quiz
- Now you've entered my fair castle, I'm giving you lots of hassle.
- Before you go up a floor, I'll test your brain a little more.
- With an answer is correct, with button you can select.
After finishing a quiz
- Drat, I'll see you at the next fight, it seems you got the answer right.
- Hah, you got the answer wrong, I don't think you'll be living long.
- This quiz is great, it builds my power! It's time to see you on the tower!
Final Boss Battle
- The time has come to end this game, the future cannot be the same.
- To your destruction you both race, of bear and bird I'll leave no trace!
- My victory will be most splendid, when I rule all, and your life's ended!
After beating the final boss when you get 10/12 hits
- Although you've smashed my mecha-suit, don't think you given me the boot.
- Now I trapped you on my tower, I'll crush you with my ghostly power!
After beating the final boss when you get all 12/12 hits
- AAAH! This can't be, my plan's a ruin, it's all Banjo and Kazooie's doing!
- Why are my henchmen fools and twits? That Mecha-Grunty just fell to bits.
- Klungo!! Get here now! Be quick! This defeat makes me feel sick!
- Listen Klungo, save your shoulder, you'll never shift this massive boulder.
- If you insist on getting blisters, first send a message to my sisters!
- Eight long years to bounce back here. I'll win this time and make you cheer!
- Yes, it's me, you podgy fool. I'm back again and ready to rule!
- At least I haven't got a gut. Let's rumble now, I'll bite your butt!
- Your name is odd and you look a bit queer, So tell old Grunty, what brings LOG here?
- That sounds like a preposterous ruse. What'll you do if we refuse?
- My body's gone, but not my eyes. All I see is a pack of lies!
- Bird was bad in our last game, now it seems she's extra lame!
- Too slow losers, watch me go! I'll win this time, I just know!
- While you've slept I've become a mechanic, building my Gruntbots to make you panic!
- So birdbrain gets a nice new wrench, well what do you have for this lovely wench?
- Hey there bear, go fetch me a drink. I'm getting hot and my armpits stink!
- After some deep consideration, I'll treat this farce as a free vacation!
- Your feathered friend is such a joke, where are the "funny" lines she once spoke?
- The race is on, the game is afoot, Banjo's chances just went kaput!
- With special abilities left on the bench, all you have is that stupid wrench!
- I came all the way to take you down, to bust your butt and reclaim my crown!
- A bear, a bird, and a Lord of Games? How nice to have rivals so shockingly lame!
- You must think you're a champion bruiser, all I see is a fleabag loser!
- This town is such a confusing place, I'd slap the planner across the face!
- Is it just me or is your nose square? The fans will hate it, you butt-ugly bear!
- The Safehouse is open, the police are coming, I'll just stand here innocently humming! (opened a trap door tower)
- You've open up more Showdown Town districts, shame they're full of freaks and misfits!
- Jinjos and Jiggies? Bottles and Mumbo? Remind me again why I came back, dumbo!
- My Gruntbots are out there causing trouble, smashing those cretinous worlds to rubble!
- Spiral Mountain isn't so great, but it's Grunty's slice of real estate!
- My body's not mine and my skull's all cracked. You still can't beat me and that's a fact!
- You must have gone mad from Kazooie's blabbing, lazing around for years in that cabin!
- I'll build a car from sticks and twine, and still outclass your best design!
- All those years since we've butted heads, and still you're wearing those horrible threads?
- Hunting Jiggies, I don't see the point. Why drag us here to this dead-end joint?
- You're stubborn, bear, I can't deny it. If this goes wrong, I'll start a riot!
- You can't beat me good in this game, I'll still come out as an eyeball or brain!
- Beating my challenge, I think you're so clever. Your next success approximately never!
- Can't be long from until the finale? Don't put too much faith in the Jiggy tally!
- You were so porky and in such a mess. I'm stunned you got this far, I confess!
- That smell doesn't mean I'm starving to worry, it's what happens after a Dingpot curry!
- Now, what's this before my eyes? A coconut of such a size!
- The Loco Coco this must be. Soon it's Grunty's, wait and see.
- With a nut so big, so hard and strong, to flatten the farm won't take too long.
- Loco Coco, you'll soon be mine. I'll ace this place before bedtime.
- The Loco Coco is lost for all time, all I have left is my talent for rhyme!
- Porky bear needs to move a lot quicker, to stop the glubber being used as cat litter!
- I'll give you a chance, since I'm no gloater. Race me to stop Piddles leaving a floater!
- My plan's destroyed, you're in the top rank. This cat's worse than Klungo if I'm being frank!
- Persistence pays off, I've always found! I've rebuilt my boat for another round!
- Thick-witted bear and feather face, do you know why I'm here in this dreary place?
- No, you fools, I came to lay waste. But it's already trashed. I should have made haste!
- Fine then, freaks. I'll wreck it some more! Now don't interrupt my childish chore!
- Useless bear, come here and fight! I stayed up building this thing all night!
- Where are you, bear? I'll pound you flat, and wear the bird as a novelty hat!
- You've taken the spring right out of my step. I've got to stop losing, it's ruining my rep!
- Looks like I'm thwarted good and proper. This thing's become a hopping cropper!
- Water Polo, it's the finest of sports, I'll never lose to a bear in shorts!
- I scored all those goals in my first try. Beat that, you can't! Now don't you cry!
- All those balls, and you won't come close. Just try it and you'll end up toast.
- I'll bash and block, ram and charge! Competitive Grunty giving it large!
- Stop looking so smug, you brainless bear! You trounced me, so what? I don't even care!
- 9-Ball is my latest game. Grunty's the hustler, that's the name!
- My new weapon's rather glorious. I'll smash your balls and be victorious!
- You can't do that, it's just not fair! You pay the price, you sweaty bear!
- Don't spoil my fun, you furry clown! You set 'em up, I'll knock 'em down!
- You're cheating now, come on, come clean! Don't interfere with my machine!
- These laser blasts were meant to break you. It's going wrong, I really hate you!
- This laser makes me hard to beat. Bend down and kiss my warty feet!
- Thanks for nothing, stubborn fool. You're undermining my new tool!
- You took me out without missing a trick. You scruffy old bear, you make me sick!
- I'm working hard to cause you grief. Now lose the torch you Jiggy thief!
- Dropping stuff is tons of fun! I'll drown or squash you as you run!
- I see you're making one last dash. Do try to dodge the massive splash!
- See my vehicle, I'm proud to man it! Full of surprises and bad for the planet!
- This vehicle guzzles so much gas, destroying more ozone with every pass!
- Don't get in the way, your plans will flop! I'm hard to see and harder to stop!
- I'd curse if this game had a higher rating, your confidence is so nauseating!
- You can whip the game worlds and trounce the town, don't think for a minute you'll keep me down!
- My body was still, but my mind was racing, inventing new vehicles to give you a pacing!
- You underestimate my cunning, hear my plan and then start running!
- My minions have built them, I knew they'd look after me. I'll claim this place while you slave in that factory!
- Goodbye Spiral Mountain, hello Grunty Acres! You two, prepare to meet your makers!
- This monster truck's something, it can't be denied! I'll flatten you into the mountainside!
- My truck's been scrapped, but I'm not one to fret. We're just getting started, don't celebrate yet!
- You'll walk the plank for that, I swear. Roll on stage 3 of this epic affair!
- So much for stealth, it wasn't just enough. You want me to give up with dignity? Tough!
- You're still in my way, that's typically thoughtless. I'll size up the options inside this fortress!
- My pirate galleon should be more successful. Avast ye swabs! You'll find this quite stressful!
- It's time I switched to a stealth attack. If you can't even see me, how can you fight back?
- The fortress is breached! Its defenses smashed! My vehicle options are dwindling fast.
- Behold the broomstick, our last fight approaches! I'll sweep you aside like troublesome roaches!
- I know you're not a fan of mine, but this behavior's out of line!
- Don't pick on me, 'cause I'll fight back. I'll show you Grunty's breath attack!
- How I lost I fail to see. A three time loser I cannot be!
- Leaving me here was a big mistake! Just wait for the devious game I make!