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Gruntilda is infamous in the gaming world for her hilarious and very bizarre rhyming quotes. This page is a collection of Gruntilda's rhyming quotes throughout the Banjo-Kazooie series.
In Certain Areas
Gruntilda's Lair
At Random
- Many tricks are up my sleeve, to save yourself you'd better leave!
- Grunty's plan is rather cunning, when I'm thin guys will come running!
- Long of tooth and strong of arm, Grunty's got the lasting charm!
- My filthy bed gives me a rash, I never wash, I save my cash!
- I don't like stairs much in my lair, they always make me gasp for air!
- Can't you get here any faster? Come and fight me, I'm the master!
- If you think I'm rather soft, I'll be waiting in the loft!
- Why do I talk all the time, it's really hard to make these rhyme!
- I'm still here, I watch you play, but I can't think of much to say!
- It really does sound quite absurd, adventure of a bear and bird!
- How bright they are, your stupid shorts, a target for my dumb cohorts!
- That ugly bear, you feathered freak, is nothing but a stupid geek!
- Join me now and dump the bear, that little backpack then I'll wear!
- You side with Banjo but change tack, imagine you on Grunty's back!
- Your feathered buddy, that you've brung, useless like a pile of dung!
- I can see it's quite hard work, to lump around that squawking jerk!
- My next world is the hardest yet, and you'll fail on that I'll bet!
- Tooty's fate is looking grim, it's because her brother's dim!
- I've got this skirt so when I'm thinner, it really makes me look a winner!
- When Tooty is a big ole lump, I've got just the frock to hide her rump!
- Your butt will tell you and you'll know, when my boot swings to and fro!
- When the back of Grunty's hand, whups your butt you'll hardly stand!
- Hey Banjo, you're looking glum, it must be hard, being so dumb!
- Grunty's stomach and leg thins, goodbye to all those double chins!
- Once I'm nice and thin once more, burgers, fries, and chips galore!
- Tooty says she's fine with me, if you go home I'll set her free!
- Grunty admits she's a hog, I really need a big hot dog!
- Monsters chase you, they're a hounding, then you'll get a Grunty pounding!
- My belly's big, it's rather neat, it's years since I have seen my feet!
- I've learned this spell, it's really neat, I'll keep it later for your treat!
Specific Events
- There he is, the fun begins, my tricks and traps will see who wins!
- That was such an easy fit, the others may just test your wit!
- You've found some notes but you need more, to break my spell and pass this door!
- That door was easy you got past, unfortunately your first and last!
- When you open a world door, baddies escape and roam once more!
- If one more page I see you turn, than (sic) Grunty shall Cheato burn!
- That traitor book has pushed its luck, so in the burning fire I'll chuck!
- What's wrong Banjo, is it tough? Let me know when you've had enough!
- It's not over stupid bear, see my picture over there!
- To fill it up is no mean feat, lots of Jiggies make it complete!
- I'm sad to say down there you'll stop, 'cuz I'm safe here at the top!
- Don't be sure you silly pot, soon I'll have you nice and hot!
- See these filthy clothes I've got, when I've won you'll wash the lot!
- All the Jiggies you did snatch, but I'll be back for my rematch!
- Stop this cheating Grunty says, or your game pak I'll erase!
- You didn't listen, I'm amazed, so now your game pak is erased!
Treasure Trove Cove
- That golden treasure was for me, now harder still the game will be!
- That lousy cheat for extra eggs, won't help bear and chicken legs!
- All my feathers, it makes me sick, fly to me, your butt I'll kick!
- Gold feathers you may have twenty, but bruises you'll still get plenty!
Bubblegloop Swamp
- First you see it, now you don't, the fast one wins, the slow one won't!
- I'll be young and Tooty old, before you get Gruntilda's gold!
Gobi's Valley
- Grunty's race you cannot beat, until you find some faster feet!
Mad Monster Mansion
- Those lovely thorns, how they've grown, music to my ears as you moan!
- I can't believe you went in there, wash your hands now, filthy bear!
- These two guests are rather dumb, let's make sure they're unwelcome!
- Yes I'm mad, my boot I'll put, up your useless spooky butt!
- Big oak door is very tough, stupid bear's not fast enough!
Rusty Bucket Bay
- My oily water, in you plunge, you'll lose air while in that gunge!
- Under the scum you'll breathe your last, 'cuz air is used twice as fast!
- Stupid bear, you'll have to learn, that red hot ovens tend to burn!
Click Clock Wood
- My bramble field makes you yelp, and loss of life it sure does help!
- You'll use you air up double fold, I've made this water double cold!
- Yes that's right, swim under there, icy water takes double air!
Grunty's Furnace Fun
- Welcome all, Grunty's the name, Banjo's here to play my game!
- My lair is done and there he stands, Through all my tricks and traps and lands!
- This final test will see me win, When Banjo fails then I'll be thin
- The prizes on this stand bring joy, from Tooty down to cuddly toy!
- My little quiz will make you sweat, and Tooty you shall never get!
- 'Cuz somewhere soon along the way, your lack of skill will make my day!
- 'Cuz in the fiery pit you'll go, and I will win the prize on show!
- So step on over to the square, Press A to try it if you dare!
- A little answer's all I seek, about this game you furry geek!
- A lucky guess, you got it right, the next square's yours without a fight!
- Hear the crowd, they boo and hiss, to see you fail they would not miss!
- A question on the sounds I play, get it wrong to make my day!
- Just one chance to get this right, win a joker and help it might!
- Each joker card that you have got, will skip your question, that's your lot!
- Press B to use it you little cheat, when on a sqaure you get cold feet!
- Prepare yourself to take a whack, pick this test, you won't come back!
- I think it's time, so let me see, how much you know of little old me!
- That's a secret, how did you know? Did my sister tell you so?
- Get this wrong for Grunty's sake, then a lava bath you will take!
- Fail a square and you'll feel pain, please press A to try again!
- Get more wrong, yes that's the way, the crowds are happier today!
- An easy challenge you have assumed, one more wrong and you are doomed!
- An extra life, I do not care, It will not help you scruffy bear!
- No one can win, I was assured, By the makers of this board!
- It's not fair, I want to win, How I longed to be real thin!
- Now you can take the prize on show, while up the winding stairs I go!
- You won't catch me, I've made sure, All the credits you'll now endure!
Top of the Tower
- I can't believe that furry pair got right up here. It's so unfair! But now the stupid bear must fight. This battle tests your skill and might!
- So you're back, you must be thick. Again you'll lose, I'll make it quick!
- I can't believe you're back again, stupid bear and dim bird brain!
- Back once more, you'll never learn. That suits me fine, your butts I'll burn!
- Another hit, I'm getting weak, I really need to take a leak.
- Soon you'll lose, and when you're gone, I will go to use the John!
Banjo-Tooie
- Oh no no this cannot be, what has happened to little old me?
- I hates bones a body I need, can you help with this little deed?
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts
Opening
- Eight long years to bounce back here. I'll win this time and make you cheer!
- It is me you podgy fool. I'm back again and ready to rule!
- At least I haven't got a gut. Lets rumble now, i'll bite your butt!
- Your name is odd and you look a bit queer, So tell old Grunty, what brings LOG here?
- That sounds like a preposterous ruse. What'll you do if we refuse?
- My body's gone, but not my eyes. All I see is a pack of lies!
- Bird was bad in our last game, now it seems she's extra lame!
- Too slow losers, watch me go! I'll win this time, I just know!
- While you've slept i've become a mechanic, building my Gruntbots to make you panic!
- So birdbrain gets a nice new wrench, well what do you have for this lovely wench?
Showdown Town
- Hey there bear, go fetch me a drink. I'm getting hot and my armpits stink!
- After some deep consideration, i'll treat this farce as a free vacation!
- Your feathered friend is such a joke, where are the "funny" lines she once spoke?
- The race is on, the game is afoot, Banjo's chances just went kaput!
- With special abilities left on the bench, all you have is that stupid wrench!
- I came all the way to take you down, to bust your butt and reclaim my crown!
- A bear, a bird, and a Lord of games? How nice to have rivals so shockingly lame!
- You must think you're a champion bruiser, all I see is a fleabag loser!
- This town is such a confusing place, i'd slap the planner across the face!
- Is it me or is your nose square? The fans will hate it, you butt-ugly bear!
- The Safehouse is open, the police are coming, i'll just stand here innocently humming!
If hit
- I know you're not a fan of mine, but this behavior's out of line!
- Don't pick on me, 'cause i'll fight back. I'll show you Gruntys' breath attack!
Ending
- How I lost I fail to see. A three time loser I cannot be!
- Leaving me here was a big mistake! Just wait for the devious game I make!
During Cutscenes
Introduction to Banjo-Kazooie
- Dingpot, Dingpot by the bench, who is the nicest looking wench?
- Yes you're right, I'm rather proud, my looks stand me out from the crowd!
- What d'you mean, this cannot be, there's no one prettier than me!
- No no no you must be mad, nicer beauty can't be had!
- If Tooty thinks she's fairer than me, I'll steal her looks and ugly she'll be.
- Come to me, my little pretty, you'll soon be ugly, what a pity!
- Don't scratch and bite little bear, you'll soon need bigger underwear!
- This fine contraption, so I'm told, will make me young and Tooty old!
- Rescue you he will not dare, there's many danger's in my lair!
- Hurry Klungo push that switch, I'm tired of being an ugly witch!
Game Over From Banjo-Kazooie
- Banjo's game ends in my tower, turn it up I need full power!
- Look at Grunty she's a beauty, I'm much prettier than Tooty!
Ending From Banjo-Kazooie
- Stupid Bear & Dumb Kazooie, I'll be back in Banjo-Tooie!
- All those jiggies you did snatch, but I'll be back for my rematch!